Monday, July 21, 2008

Letter to 張信哲 Jeff Zhang Xin Zhe

Hello 信哲

This has been hovering and harbouring in my heart for a very long time. I can't find the courage to express to you but have to do so somehow and take this opportunity to do so here....funny such it seems!! Falling head to toe in love with you!! Never in life has this feeling comes across me... I know this is an impossible thing but it is something that I could not control and yet keeps falling in love with you.

I am a matured lady and I know I am and I know this entire loving game is childish!! I am no younger and I believe you and me, do have gone through a few phases of love relationships and can understand the difference between infatuation and real love. You are always so close to my heart even though you are just so far. To me, there is no boundary, no distance between us but only closeness and this is the kind of unique feeling I have for you. I have to confess that this is amazing.

Jeff I want to let you know that you will always be part of my life. Whenever I am, whatever I do, I have you in mind. Please do not think I am a fanatic fan or crazy lady who would do irrational things. Nope I am not like that. I am matured enough not to do such silly things. I know of the abundant warm-hearted love that your fans have always showered you, but I don't think I can hold a candle to them coz' I am not good at it at all. I am a very naive person when coming in term with love and I don't know how to express creative words or any kind of fanciful thoughts to win your heart. From a plain-jane kind of personality, I could only disseminate my heartfelt feelings to you through my private blog here. I am not afraid to post this in my blog but in the first place why should I?

I like your songs, your angelical and charming voice and it is always melting my heart. But I have never put this as an important part of my special feeling for you. It is not just the voice that I like and admire, it is YOU and your inner characters that have drawn me nearer to you. To me, you are passionate, empathy, loving, kind, charitable ..... just too many and I must confess almost flawless but I must stop myself coz' nobody is perfect. Your outlook is not the most important issue as compared to your inner-self - Well make it this way, we will grow old one day somehow, your external look will deteriorate but your inner beauty is the one that is everlasting as it never deteriorates but will grow fonder as years go by.

Although I am falling head to toe for you, I can't bring myself to say this phrase "I LOVE YOU" too readily.. To me, "I LOVE YOU" is a sacred phrase and I will hold this back till the time is right.

How I hope my fingers could do wonder - click and sent straight into your inbox instantly and that you can come to know of my existence immediately.

I wish to dedicate this song "MY VALENTINE" to you. This is a very special song and it sings of my inner feelings for you. If ever I hear you sing this beautiful song in Singapore, I will know you could feel my existence.

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

Passionately Yours

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